


My own artistry

by luckiestlucky



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Character Study, Gen, Self-Indulgent, alright how the hell do i tag this, headcanon heavy, its just tsumugi's thoughts nobody else is there, mentioned canon character death, thats it rly, we need more tsumugi content thats not shippy so ig i'll feed myself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:54:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25437247
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luckiestlucky/pseuds/luckiestlucky
Summary: When someone you love dies, a piece of you goes with them.It's up to you to determine how you will live without that piece of yourself, and if you will turn your pain into the strength to keep moving forward.
Relationships: Takanashi Otoharu & Takanashi Tsumugi, Takanashi Tsumugi & Everyone, Takanashi Tsumugi & Takanashi Musubi
Comments: 5
Kudos: 7





	My own artistry

**Author's Note:**

> hiiii return from the depths of writer's block hell with an idolish7 fic!!!!  
> thats about their adorable manager takanashi tsumugi!!!!!!!
> 
> as much as i love the boys (esp nanase riku and IORIKU) i love tsumugi alot and think shes a wonderful heroine, i just think shes my cute gf 
> 
> this small fic is entirely self indulgent, based on my fave hc that tsumugi can play piano, and the obvious canon Fact that she loves idolish7 with all her heart :') 
> 
> its also a bit of me venting my own feelings onto her, since my mother is fighting stage 4 cancer rn, and ive been especially scared about possibly losing her lately, so this is my kindof way of reminding myself and anyone who is dealing with anything similar to be strong. 
> 
> if anyone reads this i hope you enjoy!!!! <3 and pls love idolish7 and tsumugi

The only memories Takanashi Tsumugi has of her mother, are from music. 

Tsumugi has the faintest memory of her mother singing soft, sweet lullabies to her as a baby. When she recalls that memory, on nights when she’s particularly tired, but unable to fall asleep, the memory of her mother singing to her, that’s just barely there, puts her at ease enough to fall asleep. 

More memories of her mother, that are just as blurry as the memories of her newborn self, are of her and her mother sharing the bench of a grand piano. Her mother’s long, sunflower yellow hair pulled into a low ponytail, blocking every angle of her face, save for the smile on her face that cradles the beautiful lyrics that she sings, while Tsumugi’s two year old self innocently presses every piano key she can reach. 

Her mother was a very talented piano player, who treasured music and her family equally, that is all Tsumugi can recall of her now. It’s why every time she sees a piano, those distant memories flash in her mind like an old tape player, and why she hasn’t been able to touch a piano since the day her mother didn’t come home. That day, when she was only four, when her father returned home after a long night with a pained look on his face that told Tsumugi everything she needed to know. 

It wasn’t on the day of the funeral that Tsumugi decided she would never touch a piano again, it was the day her and her father agreed to sell her mother’s grand piano. The piano was the most valuable thing to her mother, besides her family, was what her father said; and he knew she would not want such a precious instrument to sit untouched. Even with how young she was, and how much she had cried all alone, out of her father’s sight when the funeral was over, she agreed. 

When she was four, and she watched those moving men take her mother’s grand piano out of their home, that Tsumugi decided to be strong, by letting go of the last connection to her mother that she had. She didn’t forsake her love of music in favor of having the strength to stand, the strength to study her hardest, the strength to do things that scared her, like walking the short path to school on her own, or turning the stove on by herself. She forsaked her artistry, the desire to play and create like her mother did, for the strength to take care of those she loves like her father.

The strength to one day support people with dreams bigger than the Universe itself, just like her father did for her mother’s dream. 

It’s been 16 years since Tsumugi made that promise, 16 years since she’s last touched a piano. She’s 20 years old now, she’s been IDOLiSH7’s Manager for two years, and they are the best thing to have ever happened to her. Those seven boys, whose dreams are different, but the same, who she’s supported since the moment she saw them playing basketball in the practice room. Watching them grow bigger and bigger like an infinite rainbow, watching their backs as they overtook the stage and stole the hearts of many with their songs, dance, and smiles, and being able to give them strength when the pressure of the entertainment world tries to crush them. 

If she wasn’t able to do those things for her dear friends, she would not be the woman she is today. If the memories of her mom had not become so faint within her head… What would be different? Would she have been able to grow up looking forward to the future, the future that was only able to come to fruition thanks to IDOLiSH7? 

It’s on nights like this, when she’s one of the last ones at the office, sending each of the boys questionnaires related to one of their projects and awaiting their answers; that these “what if’s” began to run through her mind. She forces herself out of her desk chair to walk down the hall, past the practice rooms just to make sure none of the boys are practicing too late. When she does this, it’s rare that she does find any of them practicing, but she always comes face to face with the piano in the music room. 

She always comes face to face with those quiet memories of her mom. 

Tonight is no different than any other night of her thoughts running wild, but when she begins to faintly hear her mother’s singing, so close but so far away, she feels her feet moving on their own in the direction of the lonely piano in the corner of the room. Even as the sweet singing of her childhood memories continues, she sees Sougo-san’s silhouette in front of her, sitting in front of the piano with a pencil in his mouth as he cautiously presses the keys, releasing the melodies he’s thought of over days piece by piece. 

When the happy memory from the present disappears, Tsumugi is sitting in front of the piano, on the very edge of the bench, as if leaving room for another person. She suddenly feels so much younger, and everything suddenly feels clearer. The very first key she presses, she turns to her left, towards that empty spot, and she sees her mother’s eyes, shining just as bright as her smile. 

For the first time since that day, her mother’s face is not a blur in her memory. 

She continues playing the keys, just like the way she was taught, just like the way she’d forgotten; and with every tear that falls from her eyes, another piece of a song from her childhood is born, from her own hands. Another detail of her mom returns with every note, and with it, a close memory of IDOLiSH7 reminds her that she is okay

With every recollection of the past, she is reminded of how strong she has grown in the present.

**Author's Note:**

> for my first time actually starting something and finishing it in like 4 years, i think this was pretty good.   
> also im aware the title doesnt make much Sense but tsumugi is an artist in her own right, she designs IDOLiSH7'S stages in canon and thats gotta take some creativity
> 
> my twitter is: @catboyflyaway !!! pls come yell with me about idolish7 and takanashi tsumugi!!! 
> 
> and if you read all the way here, thank you so much!!! <3<3<3<3 stay safe out there and be strong!!!!


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